Marriages are made in heaven, that’s what some people believe. Married couples go along with this saying and suddenly a small issue can become so big that it makes a couple lose control and carry on arguing even if they have kids or have been married for many years. And this breaking point is truly very painful not just for the couple but for everyone else in the surroundings too.
In married life if any conflicts arise, it is always good to sort it out through understanding and forgiveness. That being said, you must also know that living with an abuser makes you dead and stops all your progress and thinking power which makes you ill in more ways than one.
If you are trapped with an abuser in this lockdown period and you feel that you are not safe, then don’t wait:
Being an International Accredited mediator and an International Motivational Speaker I receive calls from random people, and they need moral support and a space to be able to share their sufferings. I feel that listening to someone is the most important part of help and support.
Once the sufferer vents it all out, then they are ready to talk about the solution. I have a few sad calls, where one mother was trapped with her abusive professionally qualified husband who was literally using her like his punching bag, and she was not able to understand how to get rid of him in this COVID 19 crisis. I asked her to share everything with me till she was calm and made her contact the women cell but, in the meantime, I was talking to her like a friend which made her feel the comfort of having someone with her through her tough time. She was morally strong after contacting me, and the police came to her house and gave her husband a warning. She is now living in a peaceful environment and is in touch with few of her relatives and friends.
Once I had a call from a widow mother who was so scared and screaming about her son who is a drug user and he was selling his mother’s house stuff to get money for his addiction and every now and then he was threatening her to kill her and take her to the police. I asked the mother to call the police without any delay and she did and now the man is in jail for threatening and being abusive.
Another case of a few teens and young adults who graduated from their university last September and they were in the preparations of new job and business but due to COVID19 both got stuck and they did not have anything else to do other than quarrelling. Here I intervened and spoke to them and told them to keep themselves busy in some other task like making some music or some food if interested. And believe me that worked as now they both are busy in being creative through music and other things.
Few final words of advice:
Sometime the obvious thing might be to respond with a comeback but those are the time you should take the unobvious path and walk away or stay silent.
BritAsian Virtual Star Contest Sakshi Vishwesh
In the time of lockdown when everything around was closed and people were strictly advised to stay at home, Sakshi Vishwesh (Dir. BritAsian Events UK Ltd.) visualised a curio idea of BritAsian virtual star contest to motivate all asians (especially women) across the globe to feel confident about themselves during the time of Covid-19 pandemic, & helping NHS (National Health Service UK). The event was in association with Beauty & the Best Magazine, Jasmine Soni from Soni Makeovers, Mir Ali from 199photos and Phibrows by Yasmin.
Says, Sakshi, “The contest spread widely & we had contestants participated from India, Scotland and London. It helped contestants divert their minds from the negativity and encouraged them to feel positive about themselves. BritAsian’s Virtual Star contest made contestants connect globally with others asking for votes & in return to spread awareness about their own initiatives too.”
I’am Nadia Mirza-Saadi, a 20 year-old Glaswegian Astrophysics student with heritage from Pakistan, Afghanistan and India. I have been a radio presenter on Edinburgh-based Sunoh Radio, I attended the Global Girls? Media School in London, the Girls? Rock Glasgow School and the Young Curators? Lab of the UK Asian Film Festival.
I’ve been involved with bringing about social change from a young age and won The Alstead Award for Service to the Community.
BritAsian’s Virtual Star contestant has helped me get back in touch with old friends and the support for my entry to the contest has been amazing, especially during the lockdown.
I started the Instagram #CountMyFollicles hair positivity campaign. The lockdown closed all beauticians. High time to kick-start the campaign and enter the beauty contest, to spread hair positivity! My aim is not to pressure others to keep their hair but to help our beautiful wee girls, especially from BAME communities, feel self-confident rather than being bullied as I was.
The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance, and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning. Oprah Winfrey
I Kanchan Bhutani, graduate and accounting technician by qualification added with a lot of experience from kindergarten industry where I have served as a Director to follow one of my passion to nurture and develop cute little minds. I reside in London and my journey through this has been an enriching experience filled with many such small victories and blissful moments. Energy is always vibrating through this cosmos. The process of creation begins when you channelize your essence and energies towards something meaningful.
My participation in BritAsian’s Virtual Star contest initiated by BritAsian Beauty Pageants (London) in conjunction with BritAsian Events UK Ltd. has given me a platform to utilize my potential in rediscovering my true self. I have been able to connect with myself as a person through this contest and this has given me a new vantage point to embrace this world with a new-found confidence.
Secondly, this contest has provided me an opportunity to connect with people across diverse ethnicities and orientations. Amidst this pandemic, connecting with people has provided a healing touch to my mental wellbeing as it has strengthened my belief in social associations and rebonding. An event like this is a panacea to rejuvenate disconnected chords of this situation.
I have emerged as a more expressive and cooperative concerned soul after this journey and looking forward to see myself as evolving personality through this pageant.
I am thankful to Sakshi for her relentless support and gentle guidance.
I am Anisha, married and now reside in the Uxbridge area with two kids; a 2 months & a 1 year old. I had previously graduated from Brunel with a degree in psychology.
My biggest achievement to date has to be being a mother to my kids who are only 13 months apart, managing my workload, blogging and keeping up with my hobbies which include dancing whilst staying motivated has been everything for me.
My past goals have mainly been around dancing, whereby me and my sister joined forces to form a business related dance group. From here we got to teach and tour around the UK being part of major shows, featured in several music videos, adverts & we had the amazing opportunity to dance with various Bollywood stars such as Esha Deol, Arjun Rampal, Rani Mukherjee and many more ..
My future goal is to spend more time blogging, and to share awareness on motherhood including going through various types of births like having a c section so close together. The experience is something all women could face and through a hard time I believe women can support each other and share knowledge in a way that we all feel connected as at times it’s very easy to feel alone.